I hope he checked with Katie

White House spokeman Tony Snow was just diagnosed with a recurrence of Cancer that doesn't sound too good. I wish him well. He's got the toughest job in America, as chief spokeman for The Idiot. I just hope he has checked in with Katie Couric before making any career or family decisions. If you saw the interview with John & Elizabeth Edwards, you know it's now Katie's job to decide what is appropriate behavior and what people should think.

Who Wants to be a Pedophile?

That should be the new title of Dateline, since the show (which was always fake news in the worst sense of the term), has become nearly 100% Chris Hanson standing at the kitchen island confronting potential child molesters. The show is on now as often as Who Wants to be a Millionaire was a few years ago when that was briefly a ratings juggernaut. And its on all the time for the same reason as Millionaire-because it too is a ratings bonanza.

For the brief time I can stand to watch it, I don't know if I am more repulsed by the slime that come through the front door looking for their 12 year old dates; or by Hanson emerging from the back room to confront these loosers, as if being a pompous blowdried news anchor gives him licence to play cop, detective, judge, and social worker. The show has no more social value than Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, and probably less.

And now the spillover has affected MSNBC, which has become the repository for endless reruns of the show, and now has Joe Scarborough, (who I was actually starting to enjoy, if only because its fun to hear Republicans bash Bush) nothing but a shill for the show. If Olbermann starts pushing it, I'll be done with him too.

Are Bostonians ALL Complete Idiots?

First off, as a graphic designer, who has had to work with more than my share of marketing people over the years, I will state plainly that ALL MARKETING PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. In fact, I've been working on a project for one all day today, which is why I didn't catch onto all of this Mooninite business till late this afternoon.

Clearly it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that strapping battery powered devices to bridges all over a city, might be cause for alarm by somebody!!

But how in hell did it take the entire apparatus of local, state and national government, and the mainstream media until 5:00 PM, after a full day of shutting down bridges, tying the city in complete knots, and blowing up electronic cartoon characters to figure out what was going on here. Seems like there were clues all over the place. I mean, there are pictures of this thing all over the internet, and the thing has been set up in 10 other cities for two weeks. Are Bostonians just particularly ignorant?

The most comical point in the whole day for me was Channel 7 blurring the finger (3 light bulbs) of the Mooninite so that no viewers would be offended. I'm just offended to live in such a completely nutjob society.

7-day Weather Forecasts

Weather forecasts are a pretty dubious enterprise as it is. Seems that two days ago, Thanksgiving was going to be a warm sunny day, and now it's going to be a washout. But many of the stations now seem to be doing 7-day forecasts. 7 days out there is a snowball's chance in hell of them getting it right, but that's besides the point. Like all else in local news, this started with a marketing consultant. At Channel 7, the marketing tie-in is obvious. Who cares if there is a 1% chance of them getting it right? Why pass up the chance to be able to reinforce the brand by saying Seven on 7 every time you give the weather. Now by this logic, Channel 4 would be doing only 4-day forecasts, but there must also be a page in the consultant's handbook that says you can't forecast any fewer number days than your competition, even at the expense on not being able to reinforce your brand.

I'm sure somewhere, there is a Channel 10 attempting to do 10-day forecasts. And I wouldn't be too surprised if somewhere down the road, Fox 25 jumps on the bandwagon & attempts to do 25-day forecasts. Hmm, you don't think that with Channel 7 taking over the news operation at Channel 56, they would have the balls to go for a 56-day forecast do you?

If it airs, you must despair

He's back! Just when you thought television and publishing standards could get no lower, OJ has been given yet another public forum by his enablers in the media. This one is truly despicable. He has a new book titled, incredibly, If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. The book is being published by the shameless Judith Regan who will also interview the deranged lunatic in a two part special on the equally shameless FOX network. Everyone involved here sucks: OJ, the media, anybody that watches or buys this crap, and certainly any advertisers that support it. I'd guess that they won't find any, but I won't be too surprised (I've overestimated corporate ethics many times before) to hear some corporate lowlife that would support this bile. Say, like News Corp, the parent company of both FOX, and the publisher Harper-Collins? There is just no depth to how low this guy and his enablers will go.

Election Night Blogging

ADVICE TO THE NATION FROM MASSACHUSETTS

Exit Poll Question:
Do you think Mitt Romney would make a good President
No: 70%

Do you think John Kerry would make a good President
No: 68%

FIRST INSTANCE OF DUMB VOTERS (OR DUMB EXCUSES)

Joe Leiberman is complaining that people are calling to complain that they can't find his name on the ballot. He's listed 5th

TELEVISION COVERAGE JUXTAPOSITION

John Henning looks like a giant standing next to Sarah Underwood on Channel 38. He's certainly a giant intellectually in comparison.

SHOCKING STATISTIC

I'm really surprised to hear that Deval Patrick is only the second black Governor in the history of the country.

SCARBOROUGH FLIPPING OUT

This is weird. Joe Scarborough is flipping out at Chris Matthews for agreeing with Howard Dean that he's too partison. He's really pissed.

NETWORK BIAS

Flipping between MSNBC & CNN (and FOX Occasionally) and there is a definite difference on how they are presenting this. MSNBC is definitely making a better case for how the Democrats are doing than CNN (and of course Fox is)

New Leader in Boston's Worst Newscast Race

There is certainly some heady competition in the contest for Boston's worst newscast. On any particular night all three 11:00 newscasts, as well as both 10:00 newscasts could just as easily take the prize. It's a vast wasteland. But the new kid on the block, Channel 38's 9:30 newscast has lately risen to number one with a bullet.

It's just horrible. First off, who the hell designed the news set. Color scheme is so 1999. Tiny little desk the anchors stand at is just weird. Looks like they just went to Home Depot & loaded up on stuff out of the clearance bin. I think those are metal wall studs sticking out of the anchors heads. Even the widescreen TV that the weather is presented on looks like the weekly loss-leader special at Best Buy.

The news script is just painful to listen to. Sara Underwood, while still somewhat of a babe, is so dumb she makes Maria Stephanos look like a Rhodes Scholar. It's especially awkward when she attempts to do serious world news (something that of course, isn't attempted too often.) The only possible positive is Jon Keller's political analysis. He's a certified geek, but head and shoulders above the likes of Andy Hiller on Channel 7. But then they force him to race through his commentary while a 38-second clock ticks away.

It's just dreadful.

Five All News Channels and No News

Been busy and havn't seen the news in a couple days. So I try to flip to one of the cable news channels. No fucking news! MSNBC has some documentary about a prison in Illinois, CNN has the miserable Larry King with the miserable Suzanne Somers, FOX has yet another anniversary show celebrating 10 years of unfair and unbalanced news. Headline News has the completely horrifying Nancy Grace. All I got is NECN, which is usually fine, but Tom Ellis is on, and he just creeps me out. Looking for straight news on the news channels is getting to be like waiting for a music video on MTV.

Dirty Tricks from Fox News?

In case you have any doubt about Fox News' right wing bias check out this little "mistake" from Bill O'Reilly's show last night. This went on for quite a while apparently, with Mark Foley indentified as a Democrat in the crawl. Now, of course, anybody paying attention knows Foley is a Republican, but that's not the point. Fox News is all about the subtle manipulation of the ignorant masses. The people who hear the 10 second sound bite that reinforces their already formed opinion. Or hear O'Reilly simplistic black and white solutions delivered with absolute certainty. Then spout the soundbites back as their own opinions, without any understanding of the complexities of the underlying issues.

Now, I'm not generally a conspiracy theorist, but after what I've seen from the Republicans and Republican-sympathetic media the last few years, I would put nothing past them. It's like the fraction of a second ad saying Eat More Popcorn that was slipped into drive-in movies in the 50s. I could see this as just one more Karl Rove inspired trick to subconsciously make the Fox News watchers think Democrat when they hear Republican.

It just keeps getting better

New Foley Instant Messages; Had Internet Sex While Awaiting House Vote

Let's see, yesterday the excuse was that he was an alcoholic & headed to rehab (just like Patches Kennedy and Mel Gibson). Today it's because he was molested a a child. Tomorrow he'll have been framed by Mark Fuhrman. All I can say is, thank God he's not a Democrat.

The biggest bummer of the whole day for me is that Keith Olbermann was off (taping the Letterman show) on perhaps the best day of the decade to be a Republican-hater. Keith, how could you desert us at a time like this.

Maybe taking the country to war under false pretences and a pack of lies, trashing the Constitution, and just general incompetence isn't quite enough for the Republicans to lose power, but a good sex scandal (or as Tony Show calls it simply naughty emails) might just do the trick.

And here's some more art on the subject.

Dennis Hastert & Bernard Law: Separated at Birth

Christy, you're lying now

Now, I am an artist, but you don't have to be an artist to realize that the cartoonist who did the drawings for Christy Mihos' very funny Heads up Their Asses commercial, penned a pretty good likeness of Kerry Healey. From the hairstyle, to the stance, to the style of dress, it is spot on. Yet when he was questioned about the likeness in an NECN interview, Mihos, with a straight face, claimed that any likeness was purely coincidental, then uttered this exact quote: "The woman that did the animation wouldn't know the difference between Kerry Healey and Deval Patrick." Come on Christy! How dumb do you think we is. The funny thing is, even Kerry Healey is publicly buying his denial.

Now, I have nothing against Christy. A slightly off-kilter independent candidate makes an otherwise boring campaign fun. Just remember Ross Perot. And as far as negative campaign ads go, this is amongst the best ever. But give us a break. It's pretty obvious who this was targeting. Maybe the animator didn't know the difference between Kerry and Deval — until you stuck a photo in front of her, and said "draw the woman to look just like this!"

Stupid Naming Rights

There are always ridiculous examples of event naming rights: The Chick-fil-a Peach Bowl, The AutoZone Liberty Bowl etc. But having a kids breakfast food (an admission here: I've had a bit of a renewed Pop-Tart jones ever since I bought a box for my kids on vacation last summer) sponsor even a horrendous tour like this is just weird. Will fans of the show be more apt to buy Pop-Tarts? Will people be more apt to go to the show if the see it advertised on their Pop-Tart box. What's next: Captain Crunch presents the America's Next Top Model road tour?

[entertainment] [kids stuff] [marketing] [pop culture] [television]

The Frontline Guy Sells Out

The narrators of investigative news shows play a great part in conveying either the seriousness or the trashyness of the program. Listening to Stone Phillips and Chris Hanson on Dateline NBC, for instance, you instantly know that the show is nothing but tabliod crap, and will stop at nothing for ratings. The overproduced narration with forced pauses, and all the gimicks to tart up any subject. William Hurt forcing a tear on camera in Broadcast News is child's play next to these guys.

Frontline is the opposite of these shows. It's really the only serious investigative news show on TV. And a good deal of the authority of the show is carried by the terrific narration of Will Lyman. His voice is so identified with that show that to hear it anywhere else, is just wrong.

But now his voice is popping up all over the place as the voice of BMW. The ads are in heavy rotation. They are pretty decent ads, and the guy can't be expected to make a living just narrating Frontline (although I guess he is an accomplished actor too). But somehow hearing that voice of authority sell a car dimishes it's impact next time you watch a serious subject on Frontline.

But you know what. Here's an irony of media in the 00's: I guess given the choice of selling out by doing a car ad, or selling out & going to work for a network newsmagazine, he did choose the lesser mode of selling out. Car ads are by far a higher art form than network newsmagazines. Hell, so is Cops.

Too busy to Blog

Sorry I've been slacking off on my blog the last couple weeks. I'm just crazy busy. I was even too crazy busy last night to catch Channel 7's (or it might have been 25 or 56-they are all the same) sure to be serious hard hitting report on people whose lives are crazy busy.

How 'bout a war on drug ads

How can a country that locks people up behind bars for smoking a weed, allow drug companies to peddle every conceivable type of pill for every real or imagined condition to everyone from preschoolers to alcoholics. These ads are everywhere. A dozen or so in just about every magazine you pick up. During every TV show. It's the equivalent of peddling drugs on the streetcorner.

Instead of relying on doctors to advise their patients on what might be an appropriate medication, the drug companies now go right to the consumers. So the same people that are deciding that they are taking their family to McDonald's for the third night this week, and buying Coke by the gallon because the ad on TV told them to, are now deciding that their kid has ADD, and they need to get him some Concerta.

Sure they have to get a doctor's prescription, but I doubt that's very tough once they have decided themselves what it is they need. Kids are driving me nuts. They must have ADD. Let's call the doc and get a prescription. Popping a pill into your kids these days is just like giving them a Flintstones vitamin.

And what is with these names for drugs. They are all these made-up feel-good, focus group-tested bullshit names: Lipitor, Concerta, Levitra, Paxil, Zoloft...

These ads are crap, and should be banned. Doctors, not marketers, should be educating their patients. For you Republicans big on the free market, consider that a good deal of this stuff is no doubt marketed to people on government assistance who watch Dr. Phil, so it is ultimately being paid for by you.

Roll Over Ed Murrow

So Katie Couric is going to become anchor of the CBS Evening News. One more step toward the cellar for television news. Obviously CBS learned nothing from the Connie Chung debacle of a dozen years ago. Success as a ditzy early morning infotainment show host, doesn't translate to success as anchor of a network newscast. Not that the network newscast is what it used to be, but whatever form the "newscast" ultimately takes, Katie certainly is not the answer.

What is the audience for a 6:30 PM newscast anyways? If anybody is watching TV at that hour, it would seem to me to be more likely someone of Bob Schieffer's generation, than someone wanting to watch Katie Couric. I'm somewhat of a news junkie, and I can't remember the last time I've seen more than five minutes of a network newscast. I'm lucky if I can get settled by 8:00 in time to watch Olbermann.

If I watch any, it is generally NBC. Brian Williams is about as bland as Wonder Bread, yet still somehow fits in the anchor chair, and carries on the tradition of the network news about as good as is possible these days. The little I've seen of CBS since What's the Frequecy Kenneth left, it seemed that at least Schieffer was watchable, and carried some of the authority of what was once the most respected news business in the world. Why CBS didn't replace Rather with Schieffer a decade ago, I don't get. Rather was just friggin weird. And all I know about Elizabeth Vargas at ABC, is that her face bugs me too much to watch. She always looks pained.

Katie would be fine to go up against Diane Sawyer or Bawbwa Wawa on the prime time crime and celebrity watch shows like 48 hours and 20/20. Those shows have already given up the right to be called news shows. That's the league she's in. She may even be slightly more tolerable than either of Diane or Bawbwa. But CBS News? Any of these proposed reinventions of the news will surely fail, and further tarnish what little is left of the network's reputation as a news business.

Classic Bowling

Want further proof that there are too many channels on cable? ESPN's Classic Bowling. The thrillfest I surfed by was some bowling match from 1999. Who would watch this? Bowling on TV alone is pretty dubious. The idea of reruns of old sporting events, other than maybe a Super Bowl or a particular memorable World Series game is also pretty boring. OK, I'll admit to torturing myself by watching Game 6 of the 1986 World Series a couple times on ESPN Classic. But Classic Bowling? What percentage of my monthly cable bill is allowing me to watch this?

911 Calls

Why do we have to hear the 911 call for every fatal accident, or other tragic incident that happens? What does that add to the public discourse?

This morning Channel 7 (of course Channel 7, although no doubt the other stations did it too) felt it was newsworthy to play the 911 call of the little 12 year old boy that was killed crossing the street in Bridgewater. I changed the station. I have two little kids. I don't need to hear that crap that does nothing but sensationalize this poor family's tragedy.

They are just shameless.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in

So just in time for the Sopranos return on Sunday, I had to up the cable bill to near $100 bucks a month. That's just nuts. We cancelled HBO last year since we weren't really watching it that much, and the cable bill was getting ridiculous. Only ended up saving about $14 a month. In the year since, the cable bill has crept back up to almost where it was. Today I call to see how much its going to cost to add it back, and after a 3 month "special offer" it's $26 bucks a month to add HBO. So $14 a month to cancel it. $26 a month to get it back. What's the deal with that!

The Apprentice has Jumped the Shark

Many of you will find it odd that I ever liked The Apprentice, but for some reason I did. I ragged on my wife when she wanted to watch the very first episode, then became hooked on it. It's the only reality show I've ever watched other than the original Real World. And even back when I was REALLY an anti-business liberal, there was something about Trump that fascinated me.

So anyway, I've watched just about every episode (except the Martha version that was completely unwatchable). Every year, the formula becomes ever more transparent, yet I kept watching. There was always someone to root for, and someone to root against. In the beginning you actually learned something about business, and it was intriguing to see how really smart people in business made decisions.

But more and more it has just become about The Boardroom. Sure it's scripted as hell, but there was always some intriguing drama that would play out in the boardroom, and it was fun to see how Trump would react to things that unfolded.

But last night, it took me only five minutes to shut it off, and declare that it had jumped the shark. I couldn't even stick around to see how hot Trump's daughter was. It's so clear every year that there are at least a few goons put there by the producers just to annoy people and cause conflict. The fat guy in this episode is obviously the one this time. The show this week immediately devolved into a fight between him, and the obligatory blond bitch. I didn't even hear who was fired. I don't care. OK, I just looked, and it seems two of them were fired, and it was not the fat guy. Guess they need him for more conflict in later episodes.

But its not just the obvious manipulative casting. The tasks have become just stupid blatant ads for whatever client is paying for that week's episode. Trump's intro to the task is just a bad commercial. There is product placement more obvious than on The Price is Right. And the tasks show nothing about the contestants' business skills.

The first year, they would actually have to do tasks that would show how much business savvy they had. It was interesting to watch how things developed, where people made mistakes, where they made smart moves. Last night was some stupid text-messaging ad campaign to sell Gillette razors.

So it's over for The Apprentice. It will have to come off my Guilty Pleasures list. Now I'll have to be subjected by the wife to watching Supernanny. Expect a post on that soon.