Feeding Frenzy

For over a week, it's been all Imus, all the time. This is such a frenzy, and there are so many double standards and such hypocrisy on all sides here, that it's impossible to even make a judgment or know where to start.

While I wouldn't call myself a fan of Imus himself, I am a regular listener of his show. Sure he's a craggy fossil, and often clueless about even his own opinion, but somehow, I find his show entertaining. Hey, I often like Andy Rooney too.

The nappy-headed hoes comment was stupid and offensive, but is it any moreso than the everyday putdowns that drive his, and most other radio talkshows? To me it was just his attempt to be cool. The term is regularly tossed out in hip-hop music, and he probably just threw it out, both to be funny, and to appear more with-it than his resemblance to the Old Man of the Mountain would suggest. As with many radio hosts that are double the age of their listeners, he often uses terms he doesn't fully understand in a pathetic attempt to be relevant.

But with all the offensive language that is regularly heard on the airwaves, whether it's in hip-hop music, talk radio, or on Comedy Central, who would ever guess that this one offhand remark could become a week long, 24-hour news story, and would potentially end his career? In a world where there are often no boundaries, how is one to know when one has been crossed? As William Hurt's character in Broadcast News says: "It's hard not to cross, they keep moving the little sucker, don't they."

The bottom line is that if Imus is fired over this, the real right-wing hate mongers like Rush Limbaugh better be fair game too, as well as the pushers of hate-filled music and comedy.

Hosed again!

My wife has done it again. Heard some great and wondrous product advertised on the radio, and gone and shelled out 30 bucks for it, and left it for me to deal with it being a piece of shit.

This time it was this wondrous Liquid Lime she heard advertised on her garden god Paul Parent's show. So your lawn can be greener in two days rather than five. Never mind that our lawn is half dirt anyways. Of course it's obvious to me and anyone with a cynical bone in their body that behind every product hyped on any radio talk show is some type of payola deal.

So the stuff comes in this jug, with this little flimsy hose end adapter. The directions on the jug are completely unintelligible. Sort of tells you what area it should cover, but makes no mention of how the "convenient hose end adapter" works or how much to spray in any one place. And the adapter is a complete piece of shit. It doesn't even have a full set of hose threads to hold it on the hose. Just these little grooves, that barely hold it, even if you don't turn the water on or move the thing around at all. Turn the water on and it squirts out the back end all over you. After about a dozen tries, I finally got it to hold and not leak too much. I very cautiously made it through about half the back lawn, and then the piece of shit adapter let loose and soaked me all over. And it hadn't even used barely any of the stuff in the jug, so it doesn't seem like it was even mixing right.

I have no idea if the product in the jug is any good or not. Of course the wife will tell me to go spend another 30 bucks on a garden sprayer and apply it that way, but the fact that they would sell the shit as "just attach to your hose and spray" when you can't even get it to stay attached to your fucking hose, makes it more likely it will just be returned to the store. Actually it will probably end up stuck in the corner of the garage with all the other useless crap we've bought that doesn't work.

Does Jim Braude really drink Carnation Instant Breakfast?

Isn't it funny how talk radio hosts in Boston just happen to have such personal feel-good relationships with their advertisers?

I like to listen to Eagan and Braude on WTKK while driving around at lunch time. Today, I get in the car and turn on the radio to hear what the topic is. Jim is all fired up about something. Some liberal crusade? Some sleazy politician? Nope. He's all excited about Carnation Instant Breakfast. He goes on for almost two minutes about how he drinks it every morning, and how it provides all he needs to start off his day. He couldn't live without it. He's not just reading ad copy, he's telling you something he really believes in, just as if it were a topic on his show.

On the way home, I learn that Michael Graham gets his carpets cleaned by Kennedy Carpet Cleaners. He tells us about how much he's learned about carpet cleaning techniques while rapping with the guys cleaning the carpets at his house. They even call him by name. "Hey Michael, this is how we get those carpets so clean. Come take a look."

And I've heard many times from Mike Barnicle about his "good buddies" at Lexington Toyota. He can talk for two minutes about how great these guys are. It's like getting a personal testimonial from your next door neighbor about Vinny at the corner service station, and what a great job he does on your car.

It's all such bullshit. I mean, obviously all advertising is bullshit, but this somehow crosses the line. These are guys people supposedly listen to because they are talking to you straight. Exposing corrupt politicians, or bad government policies. Yet in the next breath, in the very same voice and schtik as on their shows, they are selling you some completely bullshit testimonial about a product they've probably never used. They are all ad-libbed and delivered in first-person to sound just like the show.

I don't place a ton of authority in any of these guys, but Braude is pretty smart. Doesn't it take away a bit from his credibility to hear him segue so smoothly from a passionate defense of some liberal issue like gay marriage to a faux-passionate sales job for why he can't live without Carnation Instant Breakfast?

Who is this Michael Graham dufus?

As a moderate liberal, I must confess that I often enjoyed listening to Jay Severin, and I really miss hearing him on WTKK. I know he's back on at 7:00, but I'm not listening to the radio at the hour. Jay was my guilty pleasure driving home from the office.

This guy Michael Graham they have on now is completely unlistenable. He sounds like a moron. Standard anti-liberal boilerplate. Like some dumb loud fratboy who knows nothing, but has an opinion on everything. His callers sound far from the "best and brightest" that Jay claimed his to be. Honestly I can't say more about his show than that, because, like Rita Cosby, I can barely stand to listen to his voice for two minutes. He was fired from his last gig, supposedly over some controversy, but more likely just because he sucked.

Jay, on the other hand, is immensely listenable. When I first heard him, and many other times while a listener, I was horrified by some of his ideas, and his crude descriptions of certain liberals: Ted Kennedy is a "fat socialist pig" or a "pantload." Illegal aliens are "crimaliens" The Clintons are described in whatever crude and ugly words pop into his head. Any time the Boston Globe or any other media outlet criticized him, he'd spend the whole show trashing them. Often, he'd be so over the top, I'd have to turn him off.

Yet, just as often, I'd learn something new, or think about an issue from the other side. And many times I'd find myself agreeing with him. And he was at least somewhat unpredictable. Unlike Graham or Sean Hannity, you weren't always 100% sure where he'd come down a particular issue. And he usually had an original argument for whatever the particular issue was. Sometimes it was a complete nut-job argument, but if nothing else it was entertaining radio.

Wish they'd put him back on at 5:00.