Public School Silliness Part 1

My kid started kindergarten this week, and so begins my education into ridiculous government regulations. Actually it started somewhat in preschool with my introduction to the concept of peanut-free schools.

Well my son's new elementary school isn't peanut-free, only peanut sensitive. But it is newly homemade bakes goods free, No more bake sales. We got the official regulation today. No goods baked at home will be allowed for any school events. All foods must be prepackaged or cooked in a "licensed kitchen," meaning a restaurant, grocery store, or bakery. So it''s OK to go to the bakery at Stop and Shop, or presumably even Dunkin Donuts, and buy cookies and bring them in. But you are not allowed to bake your own brownies for the school bake sale. What would Betty Crocker say?

Now I first assumed that this ridiculousness was a product of the Massachusetts Democratic Legislature (remember Fluff madness?). But no, it's a new Federal Regulation signed by George W called the Child Nutrition and WIC Reauthorization Act.

I'll bet if you follow that legislation back, that somewhere there is a trail of large donations to Senators from the Bakers' Union or whatever lobbying group represents bakery owners. Just gotta cut off that competition from Aunt Betty making her own brownies for the school bake sale. It's threatening bakery owners everywhere.

Peanut-free Schools

Poor Mr. Peanut. He's been busted by the PC police.

We just found out that our kids' new pre-school is peanut-free. No PBJ sandwiches (our kids favorites). No crackers with peanut butter. I don't know if they are going to read the ingredients on granola bars and such to make sure there are no peanuts or peanut oil in them, but the school is a peanut-free zone.

I hadn't even heard of such a thing until a friend mentioned it a few months ago. I just laughed at the time. "You gotta be kidding me!" Well looks like the concept has gone mainstream. Seems like a pretty nutty concept to me. Something like 2% of kids are allergic to peanuts so you're gonna ban them from school? This is kind of stuff that makes liberals look like such nut-jobs.

What's next: cheese-free schools?

Hi-5

Home with the kids today. I have a 3 and 4 year old. They love Hi-5. It's 5 kids doing songs and skits about stuff. So I'm blogging while they watch it. It's a harmless, but lightweight show. Not as annoying as Barney, which thankfully they never got into, but I have just started to realize that every song they sing is the same song. Today they were singing about Ti Kwon Do. Then they sang about soccer. Same friggin tune. And every episode is the same thing. And its a pretty lame tune too. And then the lyrics are about as lame as the tune. It's like "Tae Kwon Do, we're doing Tae Kwon Do. We love to do Tae Kwon Do." And then the soccer song. "We're playing soc-cer, we're playing soc-cer, we love to play soc-cer." Just a tad annoying.

The 3 Most Awful People on Cable TV

Just look at those faces! And just to be "Fair and Balanced" we have one horrible example from each cable network.

A couple months ago, I didn't think television could ever go any lower than Nancy Grace. Everything about her was offensive. But, somehow, like looking at a car crash, I just had to watch. Those arched eyebrows, those huffs, those sighs of disgust. Surely she has to be a network creation. A joke. Like Jiminy Glick or something.

But then a few weeks ago, I became aware of Rita Cosby. I guess I had always been aware of her, but never really bothered to notice before. But after she moved to MSNBC... (I may do a whole listing someday on MSNBC-many times the suckiest of the 3 news channels (Rita, Tucker Carlson, Dennis Miller), but at other times, clearly the best (Olbermann, Chris Matthews, and its general political reporting). ...after moving to MSNBC, immediately after the best of the cable news shows, Keith Olbermann's Countdown, I can't get to the remote fast enough to shut her off. If I can't find the remote or something, I go into a panic that I'm going to hear that voice before I get it shut off. Unlike Nancy Grace, I've never gotten more than 30 seconds into the show. That's all that is needed. Number one with a bullet on the suckiest TV personality list.

What can I say about Shaun Hannity, except he's just a stooge. Not one ounce of anything going on there except blind Republican propaganda. And, so not to give this blog's political leanings away too quickly, Alan Colmes could easily be number 4 on the list. Could they possible have found any lamer voice for the liberal side than this guy?

And you may wonder why no Bill O'Reilly? Yes, he's pretty horrible too. Most pompous TV personality going without a doubt. But there is almost some comedy there, if you listen enough. That's a great question, Chris. Stay on the line, and we'll get you a free pair of Haeger slacks.