This is Not a Sales Call

Quick tip: If you answer your phone, and the caller says "This is not a sales call", chances are 100% that it's a sales call. It's very similar to the rule regarding anything that comes out of George Bush's lips. For instance: "This was not a political decision" means "Of course this was a political decision"

Why Al Gore No Longer Sucks

How things change. Six years ago, I so couldn't stomach the man, that I purposefully threw my vote away and voted for Ralph Nader (It's OK, I live in Massachusetts, it's not like it could possibly have made any difference). One year ago, I wrote this. Today, as I look at the possibility of a Hillary vs. Romney match, Al Gore suddenly looks like the best of all possibly worlds. A smart, experienced, relatively moderate (he was once considered a Conservative) senior statesman, who was not only one of the first mainstream politicians to vocally raise alarm over the environment, but was also virtually the only prominent politician of either party (other than maybe Pat Buchanan) to loudly object to the Iraq war, and call it nearly exactly as it would pan out.

While Obama may indeed make a viable presidential candidate SOME DAY, with only 2 years experience as a Senator, I find it appalling that he is being seriously considered. Especially when the country can see what damage an inexperienced president can do.

As far as Hillary or Romney go, both are such phonies, and would be such awful candidates that I could not see myself voting for either under any circumstance. Shockingly, Al Gore seems like the country's best hope at this point.

Stop Mixing Sports and Politics

While I'm not a huge fan of sports talk radio, there are times, like during a Patriots or Red Sox playoff run, or immediately after a meltdown, that I enjoy tuning into WEEI. But the last thing I want to hear, two days before the biggest football game of the year, is right wing politics. Seems, lately that's all I get. Three times this week, I tuned into Dennis and Callahan to see what they were saying about the Pats, and all three times, they were trashing Hillary or Obama, and barely talking sports at all. Even today after last night's debacle in Indianapolis, they are talking politics when I turn them on.

Now a case could be made that a low IQ makes for entertaining sports talk, but in my book, that certainly doesn't translate to political talk. If I want a dose of right wing politics, I'll tune in Jay Severin. I certainly don't need to hear it from the sports bozos.

It feels drafty in here

Bush's Secy. Of Veteran Affairs: “I Think That Our Society Would Benefit” From Reinstating Draft...

Then of course he clarified "of course I don't support the draft"

But mark my words, it's going to happen. Plenty of talk lately about increasing the size of the military, but the draft is the elephant in the room. No one dare mention it, except maybe McCain. But with the mess Bush has made of the military and the state of the world, it's inevitable. It probably will be left to the next Democrat president to do it, thereby forcing the Democrats to get the blame for it, but it's coming down. And to my Republican friends, who like me, have a kid that will probably be just the right age to be affected some day, just rememberer that you twice voted for the bafoon that is the cause of it.

I'd Cry Too...

If my son had screwed up his country and his world as thoroughly as W has. I really feel bad for 41. He's obviously been in agony over this. Has known all along where this was going. But the man is loyal to family, even above country. It's a friggin shame. All W had to do was take one ounce of fatherly advise from the man who may not have been the best President in modern times, but was certainly the most qualified. But no, W only took advise from a higher father. That has got to be the most telling of all quotes this dunce has uttered.

I think W has all of his mother's genes anyway, not his Dad's.

Why are all my friends Republican?

Here is just a sampling of comments from my Republican friends after Tuesday's big thumpin'. For some reason I tend to have many more Republican friends than Democrats. They are all terribly misguided, but I can't seem to do anything about it. This doesn't even include the most anti-liberal, FOX News talking-point spewing, illegal alien fearing (although safely ensconced in alien-free Marblehead) Republican nut-job buddy, who I nearly came to blows with in a bar on the eve of the Iraq war when I correctly predicted just about everything that has happened over there. I have yet to hear from him, but have no doubt that there will be no change in his no-holds-barred anti-liberal tirades.

Anyways, here's a sampling of emails from the others.

• I suggest you start the process of getting your pistol permits to carry concealed weapons now. The Democrats are in power and as bad as Massachusetts is now, it will only get worse. May the dear lord take pity on Massachusetts; I almost puked last night listening to Ted Kennedy introduce the Devil. In fact, I couldn't listen; I turned off the TV, kissed my children and started battening down the hatches. This is Jericho.


• These guys are in over their head. Just wait a few years after we've paid higher taxes and on the surface a few social/ education programs look a little better (as might the economy) We'll also have a deficit of 4 billion instead of 2. By the time his or Murray's term is over (Patrick is out of here if a Democrat is elected into the Oval Office), it will be 1989 all over again, our economy will be in the tank and more people will be out of work. Not to mention the criminal pardons. Cranky, you will rue the day you decided to go back to the dark side.

At least one is only a wishy-washy Republican.

• You know I voted for Healey but to be honest, I held my nose while doing it.

In addition to this, my brother-in-law persueded (certainly with some help of the race card) his normally Democratic 85 year-old mother of all the scarry things that could happen if Patrick was elected & drove her to the polls so she could vote against the Dems.

Jeeze, I need to do something about my political circle of friends. I guess this is the perils of living in the suburbs. But if you judged me by my friends and relatives, you might think I lived in Mississippi, not Massachusetts.

I can't get rid of my Kerry cookie

On a day of almost uniform good news: Democrats taking control of the House, and possibly Senate. Rumsfeld resigning. The end of the Romney error. On a great day for a liberal-leaning news junkie, my web browser, and MSNBC is playing dirty dricks on me. Every time I go there I am greated with the above banner from two weeks ago. The day when our dufus Senator stuck his foot in his mouth and gave rise to the insecurity and fear of every Democrat that, just like the Red Sox, they were going to find a way to blow it in the bottom of the 9th. If I refresh, I get the current good news, but every time I go back to get any updates, I'm greeted by Senetor Dufus again, and for an instant think yesterday was only a dream.

Election Night Blogging

ADVICE TO THE NATION FROM MASSACHUSETTS

Exit Poll Question:
Do you think Mitt Romney would make a good President
No: 70%

Do you think John Kerry would make a good President
No: 68%

FIRST INSTANCE OF DUMB VOTERS (OR DUMB EXCUSES)

Joe Leiberman is complaining that people are calling to complain that they can't find his name on the ballot. He's listed 5th

TELEVISION COVERAGE JUXTAPOSITION

John Henning looks like a giant standing next to Sarah Underwood on Channel 38. He's certainly a giant intellectually in comparison.

SHOCKING STATISTIC

I'm really surprised to hear that Deval Patrick is only the second black Governor in the history of the country.

SCARBOROUGH FLIPPING OUT

This is weird. Joe Scarborough is flipping out at Chris Matthews for agreeing with Howard Dean that he's too partison. He's really pissed.

NETWORK BIAS

Flipping between MSNBC & CNN (and FOX Occasionally) and there is a definite difference on how they are presenting this. MSNBC is definitely making a better case for how the Democrats are doing than CNN (and of course Fox is)

The "Things that Suck" Endorsement

While I often take issue with Democratic leaders' ineptitude, and the party's adherence to political correctness and special interests, I want to make sure that for at least the next week, the picture under the "Things that Suck" banner is of the real menace, George W. Bush. Easily the most delusional, dishonest, and dangerous President in my lifetime, and arguably in our nation's history. The man who took the the unity of the entire country, and the support of the world after September 11th, and turned it into worldwide scorn.

"Things that Suck" endorses any candidate in any race, in any district, in any state, who can in anyway help to put some kind of check on this evil doer. And if not impeach him (and Cheney), at least control him over the next two years. Unfortunately, in just about every case, this means voting Democratic. I say unfortunately because I see no positive or unified plan for dealing the mess caused by Bush from the Democrats either, and hold them responsible for playing dead for four years and allowing Bush and his cronies free reign. But right now, that's the only hope we have.

Senator, You're No John Stewart

You're a fucking idiot!

Not happy having blown the presidential election, now you've gone and thrown Karl Rove a big sloppy wet kiss, just when there was finally a real chance of a Democratic victory.

First you insult all members of the armed forces with your boneheaded comments that they are there because they are uneducated. Now there is probably a lot of truth in the argument that there are many people in the service right now, and therefore in Iraq, precisely because they didn't have many other opportunities in life including the opportunity for higher education. But you don't come out and put it the way you did, a week before the fucking election!

And now, you are digging yourself deeper with this Clintonian denial that "I was trying to tell a joke about the President" Bullshit!! Sure Bush may be the dumbest president in our history, but it certainly isn't because of a lack of opportunity or education. He went to fucking Yale like you, asshole. You're now fabricating a whole bullshit joke explanation, keeping the story alive longer, and making people remember why they decided that it was better to keep the idiot in the White House than to have to listen to you for four years.

And did you really call Rush Limbaugh doughy in an official press release? That's pretty funny. Maybe you are John Stewart.

Dirty Tricks from Fox News?

In case you have any doubt about Fox News' right wing bias check out this little "mistake" from Bill O'Reilly's show last night. This went on for quite a while apparently, with Mark Foley indentified as a Democrat in the crawl. Now, of course, anybody paying attention knows Foley is a Republican, but that's not the point. Fox News is all about the subtle manipulation of the ignorant masses. The people who hear the 10 second sound bite that reinforces their already formed opinion. Or hear O'Reilly simplistic black and white solutions delivered with absolute certainty. Then spout the soundbites back as their own opinions, without any understanding of the complexities of the underlying issues.

Now, I'm not generally a conspiracy theorist, but after what I've seen from the Republicans and Republican-sympathetic media the last few years, I would put nothing past them. It's like the fraction of a second ad saying Eat More Popcorn that was slipped into drive-in movies in the 50s. I could see this as just one more Karl Rove inspired trick to subconsciously make the Fox News watchers think Democrat when they hear Republican.

It just keeps getting better

New Foley Instant Messages; Had Internet Sex While Awaiting House Vote

Let's see, yesterday the excuse was that he was an alcoholic & headed to rehab (just like Patches Kennedy and Mel Gibson). Today it's because he was molested a a child. Tomorrow he'll have been framed by Mark Fuhrman. All I can say is, thank God he's not a Democrat.

The biggest bummer of the whole day for me is that Keith Olbermann was off (taping the Letterman show) on perhaps the best day of the decade to be a Republican-hater. Keith, how could you desert us at a time like this.

Maybe taking the country to war under false pretences and a pack of lies, trashing the Constitution, and just general incompetence isn't quite enough for the Republicans to lose power, but a good sex scandal (or as Tony Show calls it simply naughty emails) might just do the trick.

And here's some more art on the subject.

Dennis Hastert & Bernard Law: Separated at Birth

Christy, you're lying now

Now, I am an artist, but you don't have to be an artist to realize that the cartoonist who did the drawings for Christy Mihos' very funny Heads up Their Asses commercial, penned a pretty good likeness of Kerry Healey. From the hairstyle, to the stance, to the style of dress, it is spot on. Yet when he was questioned about the likeness in an NECN interview, Mihos, with a straight face, claimed that any likeness was purely coincidental, then uttered this exact quote: "The woman that did the animation wouldn't know the difference between Kerry Healey and Deval Patrick." Come on Christy! How dumb do you think we is. The funny thing is, even Kerry Healey is publicly buying his denial.

Now, I have nothing against Christy. A slightly off-kilter independent candidate makes an otherwise boring campaign fun. Just remember Ross Perot. And as far as negative campaign ads go, this is amongst the best ever. But give us a break. It's pretty obvious who this was targeting. Maybe the animator didn't know the difference between Kerry and Deval — until you stuck a photo in front of her, and said "draw the woman to look just like this!"

More "Freedom Fries" Silliness

Remember all the idiot restaurant owners a few years ago that were serving Freedom Fries instead of French Fries after France refused to go along with Bush's Iraq madness? Gee, that really showed old Jacques Chirac that we Americans mean business. Pretty obvious who was right about that one, huh?

So now some Boston City Councilor and a local talk radio nitwit want to tear down the Kenmore Square Citgo sign and put up a giant American flag to protest Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's UN speech. In case you missed it, the Venezuelan nutjob said on the floor of the UN that Bush was the Devil and needed to see a psychiatrist (I personally think he hit the mark on this one). Apparently Citgo is owned by the Venezuelan government.

Whenever a foreign government dares to disagree with or criticize the American government, there are always plenty of bozos ready to step up, and play right into the stereotype of the ignorant American, aren't there. "Here's a big raspberry to you, Chavez. That'll learn ya."

Public School Silliness Part 1

My kid started kindergarten this week, and so begins my education into ridiculous government regulations. Actually it started somewhat in preschool with my introduction to the concept of peanut-free schools.

Well my son's new elementary school isn't peanut-free, only peanut sensitive. But it is newly homemade bakes goods free, No more bake sales. We got the official regulation today. No goods baked at home will be allowed for any school events. All foods must be prepackaged or cooked in a "licensed kitchen," meaning a restaurant, grocery store, or bakery. So it''s OK to go to the bakery at Stop and Shop, or presumably even Dunkin Donuts, and buy cookies and bring them in. But you are not allowed to bake your own brownies for the school bake sale. What would Betty Crocker say?

Now I first assumed that this ridiculousness was a product of the Massachusetts Democratic Legislature (remember Fluff madness?). But no, it's a new Federal Regulation signed by George W called the Child Nutrition and WIC Reauthorization Act.

I'll bet if you follow that legislation back, that somewhere there is a trail of large donations to Senators from the Bakers' Union or whatever lobbying group represents bakery owners. Just gotta cut off that competition from Aunt Betty making her own brownies for the school bake sale. It's threatening bakery owners everywhere.

Please Keep the Blowhard Senators out of the Broadcast Booth

Jerry, you looked like you were feeling my pain, but couldn't you do something about that? Why did we have to endure 10 minutes of Senator Chris Dodd's blobbering Seantorspeak while we were trying to watch the Red Sox/Yankees game. I guess it's for the Jimmy Fund thing, but he's not even talking about that. He's talking nonsense. There should be no politicians in the broadcast booth. Ever! Can't you just shut up let us watch the fucking game? Great, now Trump is on.

OK, I just donated $100. Just promise me no more Senators.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, Part 2

That's John Kerry, of course, on the left, who this week came out with position number 459 on the Iraq War, calling for a pullout of troops (just in time for his next Presidential run?), and got only 12 of his fellow Democrats to go along. This instantly gave rise to a new Karl Rove catch phrase "cut and run" that will now be repeated ad nauseum until it sticks, giving another life to the on-the-rope Republicans, just in time for this November's elections. Just like in the election of 2004, the moronic public will look at Bush & the Republicans, and say, "Yes, they are incompetent buffoons, but they are better than the flip-floppers or the cut-and-runners."

And that's Pennsylvania Senetor Rick Santorum on the right, who is 19% behind in the poles, and today called a press conference to announce that weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq. Yes, weapons that were buried by Iraqi troops during the Iraq-Iran war (which ended in 1988) and were long forgotten, and degraded. Hardy the weapons that we went to war over at the cost of over 2500 American kids lives.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, Part 1

It's a Fluff Circus

Can't we all just stop talking about Fluff and get along?

• No kids shouldn't be served Fluffernutters every day for school lunch.


• No, our legislators shouldn't be spending time making laws to this effect.


• No, the Fluffernutter shouldn't be the state sandwich.


• Can't you all just get back to important issues like flag burning, and let talk radio get back to immigrant hysteria.

I sort of feel responsible for this, because Sunday at the beach (the day before Fluffmania started) I got all Cambridgey and scolded the wife for bringing Fluffernutters for the kids.

Worst Person in the World

I hesitate to even mention Ann Coulter, because she is the perfect example of someone who is only a public irritant because she is constantly given a forum by the media. So even the mere mention on my stupid blog is adding to the problem.

Only solution to Ann Coulter and her ilk would be to ignore her and hope she goes away. Unfortunately the media can't ignore anyone, however horrifying. So she comes out with some outrageous, moronic comment, is instantly given a forum by the likes of Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, which leads to her appearance on the Today show and Larry King, which leads to more sales of her books, which in turn leads to more media appearances, the cover of Time, and a place as a spokesperson for the conservative cause.

That's all it takes: You need no credentials, no IQ, no intelligence: Just toss out a few well times barbs, and the media machine does the rest.

There they go again

It's midterm election time, there's a Republican buffoon in the White House, and the country has belately woken up to that fact. So what's a Republican to do but dust off all the old hot-button diversions like flag burning and gay marriage.

As their hero Ronnie would say "There you go again"

Give me a friggin break. With all the problems this country is facing, it would be nice to think that the electorate wasn't as stupid as they were back in '88 when Poppa Bush started all this. But that would no doubt be giving too much credit.

Lee Atwater, rot in hell.